Clowney suggests that the life of a believer is not one that seeks self-obliteration, but one that seeks surrender in God's purpose and call. The death that the Christian pursues appears therefore to be to one's sinful nature and will to live life "my way".
From Page 15 of: Called to the Ministry
From the twelve apostles to the Auca missionaries of our generation, the history of the Christian church is the history of "wasted" lives. The Christian may tabulate all the assets of his personality and take inventory of his preferences, but he casts all these at the feet of Christ. He is not seeking fulfilment but expendability. He counts not his life deal to himself, for he holds it in trust for Christ. His goal is beyond the grave; the crown of his high calling is in the hand of his risen Lord.
Yet the calling of the cross is not a calling to destruction, abandonment and frustration. Christ went to the cross only when the Father's hour had come and when his public ministry was finished. Our calling, too, has purpose and sets a task to be fulfilled.
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