As a bible student with just 1 year left to go to graduate with a degree, I look back at the past three years when I tried (and probably am still failing miserably) to balance a business with studies and other responsibilities in life, I often think about the notion whereby Christian ministry seems to be unique in that many things we do in lay capacity are not remunerable. Many a service is done "unto the Lord" which is all good and nice, but when the realities of school fees, bills and textbooks (and commentaries and other books) come into the equation, it really eats into you. When two of your classmates have all their school fees and textbooks paid for by their church, even having a monthly allowance, but most importantly, are given the blessing by their leadership to attempt to apply whatever they have studied, one cannot but think about why do I make so many sacrifices just to complete a theological degree.
I personally have been the recipient of the grace and love of many lay leaders in church, most significant of a full time staff member of another church, who mentored and journeyed with me through the days I was anti-Christian, until today when I am about to venture into ministry for my beloved Jesus Christ. If the tithes and offerings of his church did not allow him to provide for his family, I do not know if I still would be still not too different from the angry and bitter teenager I was.
I guess that if God has truly called a minister, then he would be gracious to provide the means necessary to carry out the call, be it in family blessing, finances or opportunity for ministry. It is the working out toward the end goal (in my case, a church plant) that requires faith from on high to keep the workman going.
As I reflect on Tripp's short discourse, I would like to add that some churches have large full time staff because their members somehow do not minister to one another, so they pay others to take care of them. But if a person has truly been taught and captured the heart of the gospel, all followers of Jesus by nature would minister informally, whether or not they are paid by the church.
I often point out the dilemma why the sunday school teacher or the cell group leader is not paid, whereas the air con or the elevator repair man is. If we want to use a ministry of helps as a basis of comparison, we can consider whether the sound, light, money counters, security volunteers should be paid. I do recognise that when a church starts paying her congregation for certain tasks, like for editing an announcement video, that would be precedent for every other ministry volunteer to receive pay. That would not be an issue for a church which has a culture of giving generously (in terms of tithes/offering and to one another), but for a church that is barely balancing the accounts, that would not be possible.
So to go back on topic, in reflection to Tripp's stance, a church possibly should ask itself whether is its paid staff equipping its lay leaders to minister informally to one another or if they spend most of their time ministering to its congregation.
From Pages 19-20 of Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands
"The only metaphor that captures God's plan for the church is the metaphor of a body. Christ has given his church leaders, not to bear the full ministry load of the body of Christ, but to equip each member to join in God's work of personal transformation. Remember: no local church could hire enough staff to meet all the ministry needs of a given week! In the biblical model, much more informal, personal ministry goes on than formal ministry. The times of formal, public ministry are meant to train God's people for the personal ministry that is the lifestyle of the body of Christ. Reflect on your own life. Isn't it true that change has not come only through the formal ministry of the Word? Hasn't God also used ordinary people to change your heart and transform your life?"
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Blanchard's careful preparation for public reading of Scripture
In the two decades or so of attending church, I have rarely seen many people read Scripture with much passion, reverence and definitely such extensive preparation. Blanchard has challenged me to reconsider who we should choose to read the Holy Word aloud in service, and also the importance of the posturing of one's heart for this precious privilege.
From pages 190-191 of Worship by the Book
British evangelist and Bible teacher John Blanchard describes how he has prepared for the public reading of God's Word and the powerful results:
From pages 190-191 of Worship by the Book
British evangelist and Bible teacher John Blanchard describes how he has prepared for the public reading of God's Word and the powerful results:
There are times when I have felt that the Bible was being read less preparation than the notices—and with considerably less understanding. I hesitate to use the following illustrations because of my part in it, but I do so as a reminder to my own heart of the seriousness of the issue. A year or two after my conversion I was appointed as a Lay Reader in the Church of England, to Holy Trinity Church, Guernsey. There were two other, more senior, Lay Readers on the staff, with the result that on most Sundays the responsibilities could be evenly shared out. As it happened, the Vicar almost always asked me to read the Lessons, following a Lectionary which listed the passages appointed to be read on each Sunday of the year. My wife and I lived in a small flat at the time, but I can vividly remember my Sunday morning routine. Immediately after breakfast I would go into the bedroom, lock the door, and begin to prepare for reading the Lesson that morning. After a word of prayer I would look up the Lesson in the Lectionary, and read it carefully in the Authorized Version, which we were using in the church. Then I would read it through in every other version I had in my possession, in order to get thoroughly familiar with the whole drift and sense of the passage. Next I would turn to the commentaries. I did not have many in those days, but those I had I used. I would pay particular attention to word meanings and doctrinal implications. When I had finished studying the passage in detail, I would go to the mantelpiece, which was roughly the same height as the lectern in the church, and prop up the largest copy of the Authorized Version I possessed. Having done that, I would walk very slowly up to it from the other side of the room, and begin to speak, aloud: 'Here beginneth the first verse of the tenth chapter of the gospel according to St. John' (or whatever the passage was). Then I would begin to read aloud the portion appointed. If I made so much as a single slip of the tongue, a single mispronunciation, I would stop, walk back across the room, and start again, until I had read the whole passage word perfect, perhaps two or three times. My wife would tell you that there were times when I emerged from the bedroom with that day's clean white shirt stained with perspiration drawn from the effort of preparing one Lesson to be read in the church. Does that sound like carrying things too far? Then let me add this: I was told that there were times when after the reading of the Lesson people wanted to leave the senäce there and then and go quietly home to think over the implications of what God has said to them in his Word.
Clowney on Paul's Christ-centered marriage advice
Clowney comments on the the oft quoted yet often not very well understood passage from Ephesians. Probably the common interpretation would be that the husband demands that the wife submits to him and because she does not, then he does not have to give up his life for her. And the vicious downward spiral ensues.
The simplicity and profoundness of Clowney's exposition makes me want to study the text more, and perhaps meditate on what other commentators have to share with us...
From pages 99-102 of: How Jesus Transforms The Ten Commandments
Paul starts with the supremacy of Christ, and the reality of his presence in the Spirit. From this, he speaks of Christ and his church, then makes that reality the master model for our roles in the families that are "in the Lord." Does it seem that the role of the husband is exalted too much, that he should be likened to Christ? Ah, but that likeness offers no autocratic rule like that of the kings of the Gentiles. Christ is no dictator, but he is the Head of his body the church—in organic union with her. He is the Savior of the church. He loved the church and gave himself up for her. His purpose is "to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Eph. 5:26-27).
Marriage counselors ... prefer to start with specific sources of irritation mentioned by a typical couple. Why did the new husband get so upset to see his wife looking through his wallet? Why does she find total lack of sensitivity in a husband who bangs out his toothbrush without rinsing the basin?
To be sure, men—and women, too—have seized on the idea of submission with no understanding of the transformation brought through Jesus. They miss the sun in the solar system of Paul's commandments. Submission is a meaningless concept in a Christian marriage if the one to whom we are all submitting is left out of the picture. The center is our being "in Christ." Paul's words could not be clearer. "In the Lord" determines everything. Making the husband the head of the house will not yield a Christian marriage or a Christian home. Some poor wives are painfully aware of this, as they try to live peaceably with husbands who take Paul's words, distort them, and impose their own selfish demands on their wives in the guise of Christian submission. Likewise, women can misuse their expectations of husbands by refusing obedience to them until they have "shaped up" and are looking like Paul's ideal model of selflessness. Such women forget that their submission is not ultimately to their husbands, but to Christ, who strengthens them and enables them to submit to a sinner in honor of Christ.
Are Paul's words too theological to be of practical help? Paul certainly knew and understood the teaching of the wisdom books of the Old Testament, which are full of practical applications of godly wisdom. He taught that wisdom, while coming from the Spirit, must be tested and sharpened in experience. But Paul understood why our being joined to Christ through the Spirit is the secret of Christ's union with his body the church. "This is a profound mystery," he says, "but I am talking about Christ and the church" (Eph. 5:32). Paul seems to realize that one might take his words off into a realm of bodiless theology and speculation. Immediately after recognizing the mystery of which he writes, he brings his readers back down to earth with a thump. "However," he adds, as a final word on the issue of marriage, "each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (Eph. 5:33). There is no room here for someone who wants to spiritualize away the responsibilities incumbent on husbands or wives.
The husband who imitates the Lord by giving his life for his wife; who has before him Christ's perfecting of the church as his holy bride; who claims her not as his possession, but as belonging to the Lord—that husband will show his wife something of the love of Christ, who calls them to be one flesh. They will together show the world something of the family of God. And the wife who gladly follows her husband; who seeks only his honor and his good; who seeks to bring all things under the headship of Christ by bringing the elements of her own world under the headship of her husband; who longs to accomplish the desires of her husband's heart and to apply those desires to all areas of her authority—that wife will show something of the full submission with which the Son honored his Father.
Such a couple will indeed experience no sense of loss, but the gain of glory. For the wife is the glory of the husband as she submits to him, and the man is glorified and lifted up by the wife who honors him. Both are glorified by the Father and the Son, just as the Son himself is glorified at the last day by theFather to whom he has submitted. Such Christian submission may seem humiliating. But it is the way of Christ, the way of the cross, and the only way to true glory and satisfaction.
The simplicity and profoundness of Clowney's exposition makes me want to study the text more, and perhaps meditate on what other commentators have to share with us...
From pages 99-102 of: How Jesus Transforms The Ten Commandments
Paul starts with the supremacy of Christ, and the reality of his presence in the Spirit. From this, he speaks of Christ and his church, then makes that reality the master model for our roles in the families that are "in the Lord." Does it seem that the role of the husband is exalted too much, that he should be likened to Christ? Ah, but that likeness offers no autocratic rule like that of the kings of the Gentiles. Christ is no dictator, but he is the Head of his body the church—in organic union with her. He is the Savior of the church. He loved the church and gave himself up for her. His purpose is "to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Eph. 5:26-27).
Marriage counselors ... prefer to start with specific sources of irritation mentioned by a typical couple. Why did the new husband get so upset to see his wife looking through his wallet? Why does she find total lack of sensitivity in a husband who bangs out his toothbrush without rinsing the basin?
To be sure, men—and women, too—have seized on the idea of submission with no understanding of the transformation brought through Jesus. They miss the sun in the solar system of Paul's commandments. Submission is a meaningless concept in a Christian marriage if the one to whom we are all submitting is left out of the picture. The center is our being "in Christ." Paul's words could not be clearer. "In the Lord" determines everything. Making the husband the head of the house will not yield a Christian marriage or a Christian home. Some poor wives are painfully aware of this, as they try to live peaceably with husbands who take Paul's words, distort them, and impose their own selfish demands on their wives in the guise of Christian submission. Likewise, women can misuse their expectations of husbands by refusing obedience to them until they have "shaped up" and are looking like Paul's ideal model of selflessness. Such women forget that their submission is not ultimately to their husbands, but to Christ, who strengthens them and enables them to submit to a sinner in honor of Christ.
Are Paul's words too theological to be of practical help? Paul certainly knew and understood the teaching of the wisdom books of the Old Testament, which are full of practical applications of godly wisdom. He taught that wisdom, while coming from the Spirit, must be tested and sharpened in experience. But Paul understood why our being joined to Christ through the Spirit is the secret of Christ's union with his body the church. "This is a profound mystery," he says, "but I am talking about Christ and the church" (Eph. 5:32). Paul seems to realize that one might take his words off into a realm of bodiless theology and speculation. Immediately after recognizing the mystery of which he writes, he brings his readers back down to earth with a thump. "However," he adds, as a final word on the issue of marriage, "each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (Eph. 5:33). There is no room here for someone who wants to spiritualize away the responsibilities incumbent on husbands or wives.
The husband who imitates the Lord by giving his life for his wife; who has before him Christ's perfecting of the church as his holy bride; who claims her not as his possession, but as belonging to the Lord—that husband will show his wife something of the love of Christ, who calls them to be one flesh. They will together show the world something of the family of God. And the wife who gladly follows her husband; who seeks only his honor and his good; who seeks to bring all things under the headship of Christ by bringing the elements of her own world under the headship of her husband; who longs to accomplish the desires of her husband's heart and to apply those desires to all areas of her authority—that wife will show something of the full submission with which the Son honored his Father.
Such a couple will indeed experience no sense of loss, but the gain of glory. For the wife is the glory of the husband as she submits to him, and the man is glorified and lifted up by the wife who honors him. Both are glorified by the Father and the Son, just as the Son himself is glorified at the last day by theFather to whom he has submitted. Such Christian submission may seem humiliating. But it is the way of Christ, the way of the cross, and the only way to true glory and satisfaction.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Norman on dogma, doctrine and belief
I was just joking with the my girlfriend the other day about an angry comment I received. I was chided for thinking that I had studied too much until my head grew too big. Well, we bible school students would constantly receive such scoldings when we differ from the church's commonly held doctrine or belief (or as my professor calls it, opinion). Allow me to indulge in two hypothetical scenarios.
You have a piece of hardened skin on your sole that does not go away for a couple of months. You go to your doctor who tells you not to worry about it because it is just a corn, perhaps even giving you a cream for pain relief. You then bump into your friend who is in medical school, whose favourite subject happens to be dermatology. Instinctively you show your friend the corn and she tells you that it is unmistakably a wart and to go have it removed. Will you respond in anger and tell her off, "YOU STUDY TOO MUCH ALREADY, YOUR HEAD GREW TOO BIG?!"
Of course not! You would get a second opinion from perhaps a practicing dermatologist at the specialist clinic.
Perhaps you want to venture into investing in stocks and consult your friend who had been investing for a couple of decades. He did not receive any formal training and regards himself to be an average investor who just manages to make ends meet, thankfully because his wife holds a full time job. He tells you to buy a certain share. You then decide to look up your nephew who has been scoring close to a perfect GPA in finance for a second opinion. You then find out that he disagrees with your friend's insider tip. Do you get mad and tell him off, "WHY ARE YOU SO PROUD TO THINK THAT YOU KNOW BETTER THAN A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN DOING THIS FOR TWENTY YEARS?!"
I don't so. Thankfully I have come to a point whereby I know how very little we know about interpreting the ancient text of Scripture and applying it to today's contemporary context. It is okay if others think I am wrong. What we young bible school students will continually face when we differ with conventional thinking, is that the older generation thinks that we are rebelling or trying to show up the older guard of preachers. Many of them have never gone to seminary, and have been faithfully but perhaps not too successfully shepherding the people and preaching hermeneutically sound sermons.
I love the church, especially one that is not preaching the full counsel of God. My heart is broken when violence is done to Scripture and methodologies of leadership would make any postmodern person cringe. I would be crazy to spend 4 years of my life studying in bible school just to prove that I am smart. Studying in a local university would earn me much more money and provide another galaxy of job security. I went because I could no longer resist the call and the prompting to do so.
With one year left to graduate, and with no guaranteed job (let alone a decent paying one) in sight, it takes so much faith to keep going and trying our very best to do our very best in our studies. We have no choice but to trust that God will take care of our monetary needs and perhaps even material wants. I just do not get fed by the esigetical preaching in pentecostal churches, and find it a challenge to focus if the worship or sermon is a tad too serious. Where would I feel 100% at home? A church that reveres God's Word that the preachers and teachers do their utmost not to put their own meaning into Holy Scripture, and yet relies on and welcomes the Holy Spirit to minister in the service and meetings. I hope that eventually I can find it in Singapore!
From Perspectives on Church Government:
Following the insights of other theologians, I have adopted a threefold scheme for the categorization of valid doctrines.' These categories are: "dogma," "doctrine," and "belief." The category "dogma" encompasses those tenets that make us "Christian." "Dogma" consists of concepts that are absolutely nonnegotiable for the Christian faith. To deny a tenet within the "dogma" category would be to deny a tenet of orthodox Christianity. Students typically and rightfully place such concepts as the Trinity and the per-son and work of Jesus Christ in this grouping. The second category, "doctrine," includes those concepts that shape our understanding of the nature and ministry of the church. Differences of under-standing for concepts within this classification would not necessarily constitute a denial of the Christian faith, but differing perspectives on concepts within "doctrine" would determine differences in denominational identity, nature of ministry, and such. My students (primarily Southern Baptists) typically place beliefs such as a regenerate church membership, believer's baptism, or a memorial view of the Lord's Supper in this category. The final category, "belief," encompasses those ideas that are important but can be matters of difference of opinion. Concepts within the "belief" category are matters on which Christians can "agree to disagree" without disruption or breach of fellowship. Differences of theological understanding for tenets within the "belief" grouping neither constitute a denial of the Christian faith nor separation into differing denominations or churches. Students often place within this third category eschatological concepts such as the sequence of events and the timing of the second coming of Christ.
You have a piece of hardened skin on your sole that does not go away for a couple of months. You go to your doctor who tells you not to worry about it because it is just a corn, perhaps even giving you a cream for pain relief. You then bump into your friend who is in medical school, whose favourite subject happens to be dermatology. Instinctively you show your friend the corn and she tells you that it is unmistakably a wart and to go have it removed. Will you respond in anger and tell her off, "YOU STUDY TOO MUCH ALREADY, YOUR HEAD GREW TOO BIG?!"
Of course not! You would get a second opinion from perhaps a practicing dermatologist at the specialist clinic.
Perhaps you want to venture into investing in stocks and consult your friend who had been investing for a couple of decades. He did not receive any formal training and regards himself to be an average investor who just manages to make ends meet, thankfully because his wife holds a full time job. He tells you to buy a certain share. You then decide to look up your nephew who has been scoring close to a perfect GPA in finance for a second opinion. You then find out that he disagrees with your friend's insider tip. Do you get mad and tell him off, "WHY ARE YOU SO PROUD TO THINK THAT YOU KNOW BETTER THAN A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN DOING THIS FOR TWENTY YEARS?!"
I don't so. Thankfully I have come to a point whereby I know how very little we know about interpreting the ancient text of Scripture and applying it to today's contemporary context. It is okay if others think I am wrong. What we young bible school students will continually face when we differ with conventional thinking, is that the older generation thinks that we are rebelling or trying to show up the older guard of preachers. Many of them have never gone to seminary, and have been faithfully but perhaps not too successfully shepherding the people and preaching hermeneutically sound sermons.
I love the church, especially one that is not preaching the full counsel of God. My heart is broken when violence is done to Scripture and methodologies of leadership would make any postmodern person cringe. I would be crazy to spend 4 years of my life studying in bible school just to prove that I am smart. Studying in a local university would earn me much more money and provide another galaxy of job security. I went because I could no longer resist the call and the prompting to do so.
With one year left to graduate, and with no guaranteed job (let alone a decent paying one) in sight, it takes so much faith to keep going and trying our very best to do our very best in our studies. We have no choice but to trust that God will take care of our monetary needs and perhaps even material wants. I just do not get fed by the esigetical preaching in pentecostal churches, and find it a challenge to focus if the worship or sermon is a tad too serious. Where would I feel 100% at home? A church that reveres God's Word that the preachers and teachers do their utmost not to put their own meaning into Holy Scripture, and yet relies on and welcomes the Holy Spirit to minister in the service and meetings. I hope that eventually I can find it in Singapore!
From Perspectives on Church Government:
Following the insights of other theologians, I have adopted a threefold scheme for the categorization of valid doctrines.' These categories are: "dogma," "doctrine," and "belief." The category "dogma" encompasses those tenets that make us "Christian." "Dogma" consists of concepts that are absolutely nonnegotiable for the Christian faith. To deny a tenet within the "dogma" category would be to deny a tenet of orthodox Christianity. Students typically and rightfully place such concepts as the Trinity and the per-son and work of Jesus Christ in this grouping. The second category, "doctrine," includes those concepts that shape our understanding of the nature and ministry of the church. Differences of under-standing for concepts within this classification would not necessarily constitute a denial of the Christian faith, but differing perspectives on concepts within "doctrine" would determine differences in denominational identity, nature of ministry, and such. My students (primarily Southern Baptists) typically place beliefs such as a regenerate church membership, believer's baptism, or a memorial view of the Lord's Supper in this category. The final category, "belief," encompasses those ideas that are important but can be matters of difference of opinion. Concepts within the "belief" category are matters on which Christians can "agree to disagree" without disruption or breach of fellowship. Differences of theological understanding for tenets within the "belief" grouping neither constitute a denial of the Christian faith nor separation into differing denominations or churches. Students often place within this third category eschatological concepts such as the sequence of events and the timing of the second coming of Christ.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Longman III and Allender on how our relationships reveal our selfishness
Without the gospel, we would use even the people closest to us for selfish purposes; "even our good relationships... become a prime breeding ground for anger and frustration, lust and violence and even idolatry." I reckon that most of the time, the reason people leave jobs and churches or even the faith is because of relating to another person. Indeed I recognise that I am not much different from the corrupt tax collectors who "love those who love them" (Matt. 5:46; cf. Luke 6:32). I don't think I even desire to love with an other-centered love, yet that is what Christ calls me to. Sure it will help if there are godly people around me who model how to do that...
From pages 56-58 of Breaking the Idols of Your Heart
When we are honest, we realize that even our good relationships cant fulfill our needs for intimacy. Other people let us down. They use us, as the Teacher recognized in Ecclesiastes 5: 11: "The more you have, the more people come to help you spend it." And we do the same thing to them. If we take a close look at ourselves, we realize we can't fulfill the needs of others. So our relationships become a prime breeding ground for anger and frustration, lust and violence and even idolatry...
When we sinners come together in relationship, the problems intensify; they don't go away. We feel not only the frustration created by the inadequacy of another person but also the guilt of our failures as a spouse, a relative or a friend.
Perhaps no other area in our life raises more questions than our relationships. Perhaps no other area in our life causes more anger, jealousy, disappointment and stress than other people. The Teacher, though he had positive things to say about relationships, recognized this frustration:
"This is my conclusion," says the Teacher. "I discovered this after looking at the matter from every possible angle. Though I have searched repeatedly, I have not found what I was looking for. Only one out of every thousand men is virtuous, but not one woman! But I did find this: God created people to be virtuous, but they have each turned to follow their own downward path." (Ecclesiastes 7:27-29)
Don't be distracted by the Teacher's attitude toward women here. His words are not meant to be a definite statement of what is right. They are being quoted by the second wise man, who uses them as an example to teach his son. Remember, too, that the Teacher reflects life under the sun and that he prizes men only a tad better than women. If the Teacher were a woman, she would probably say the same thing about men.
The main point is that relationships are unsatisfactory. And even when they are good, as the Teacher ruthlessly points out, they all end in death: "Whatever they did in their lifetime—loving, hating, envying—is all long gone. They no longer play a part in anything here on earth" (Ecclesiastes 9:6).
Our under-the-sun relationships can't supply us with ultimate meaning or purpose in life. Disappointments, rejections, betrayals, bereavements make this clear.
So what do we do? Should we adopt the devil-may-care attitude to which the Teacher resigns himself? "So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne!" (Ecclesiastes 9:7). Or is there something more? Can we move from relational frustration under the sun to something better above the sun?
The answer is yes. But to understand how this works, we have to look beyond the Teachers cynical proclamations or even the wise mans admonition to obey God's commands. We have to look to the gospel—and the amazing love of God himself.
Why is it so hard to live in love and intimacy with God and others? The Bibles answer to that question is that deep down we love only ourselves. Love of self conflicts with loving another person. We want to be loved, but it hard to give love to another unless we get something in return. Indeed often give only as a way of filling our own needs. How often have we withdrawn from people to whom we have been close because we were getting nothing out of a relationship. How often have we wanted to be with another person because that person was making us feel good and was serving our own needs?
That kind of selfish love comes naturally to us. Its the ultimate source of the lust and violence that afflicts our relationships. But there's another to live and to love, as the apostle Paul points out in the thirteenth Chapter of 1 Corinthians. We often think of this chapter in the context of marriage, and indeed it is appropriately applied in that most intimate of human relationships. But Paul is really talking about attitudes and actions that should characterize all healthy loving relationships.
After asserting the importance of this alternative kind of love (1 Corinthians 12:31—13:3), Paul describes a heart that loves with passion and depth. First, the apostle tells us that love is patient and kind. It waits for the other, and it does so with concern, not irritability. It waits. It hopes. It loves beauty and justice and does not give in to the petty pleasure of seeing the one who hurt us stumble. Love is the Atlas of the soul; it keeps holding us up. It does not quit; it does not lose the memory of connection; it does not kill the dreams of reconciliation.
On the other hand, love wants nothing to do with jealousy or pride, which seek their own good at the expense of the other Instead, love cares for the other, not for the self. Love does not keep accounts, weighing the advantages of a particular relationship. It is not based on what we can get out of a connection, but on what we can put into it. Instead it sacrifices safety ("I wont let myself be hurt again") and deals a death blow to self-righteousness (After all I've done for them, I deserve better"). Love seeks the good of the other without denying the hunger of our heart or demanding that desire be satisfied.
It is this high call to other-centered love that strips us of any pretense that we love well.
From pages 56-58 of Breaking the Idols of Your Heart
When we are honest, we realize that even our good relationships cant fulfill our needs for intimacy. Other people let us down. They use us, as the Teacher recognized in Ecclesiastes 5: 11: "The more you have, the more people come to help you spend it." And we do the same thing to them. If we take a close look at ourselves, we realize we can't fulfill the needs of others. So our relationships become a prime breeding ground for anger and frustration, lust and violence and even idolatry...
When we sinners come together in relationship, the problems intensify; they don't go away. We feel not only the frustration created by the inadequacy of another person but also the guilt of our failures as a spouse, a relative or a friend.
Perhaps no other area in our life raises more questions than our relationships. Perhaps no other area in our life causes more anger, jealousy, disappointment and stress than other people. The Teacher, though he had positive things to say about relationships, recognized this frustration:
"This is my conclusion," says the Teacher. "I discovered this after looking at the matter from every possible angle. Though I have searched repeatedly, I have not found what I was looking for. Only one out of every thousand men is virtuous, but not one woman! But I did find this: God created people to be virtuous, but they have each turned to follow their own downward path." (Ecclesiastes 7:27-29)
Don't be distracted by the Teacher's attitude toward women here. His words are not meant to be a definite statement of what is right. They are being quoted by the second wise man, who uses them as an example to teach his son. Remember, too, that the Teacher reflects life under the sun and that he prizes men only a tad better than women. If the Teacher were a woman, she would probably say the same thing about men.
The main point is that relationships are unsatisfactory. And even when they are good, as the Teacher ruthlessly points out, they all end in death: "Whatever they did in their lifetime—loving, hating, envying—is all long gone. They no longer play a part in anything here on earth" (Ecclesiastes 9:6).
Our under-the-sun relationships can't supply us with ultimate meaning or purpose in life. Disappointments, rejections, betrayals, bereavements make this clear.
So what do we do? Should we adopt the devil-may-care attitude to which the Teacher resigns himself? "So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne!" (Ecclesiastes 9:7). Or is there something more? Can we move from relational frustration under the sun to something better above the sun?
The answer is yes. But to understand how this works, we have to look beyond the Teachers cynical proclamations or even the wise mans admonition to obey God's commands. We have to look to the gospel—and the amazing love of God himself.
Why is it so hard to live in love and intimacy with God and others? The Bibles answer to that question is that deep down we love only ourselves. Love of self conflicts with loving another person. We want to be loved, but it hard to give love to another unless we get something in return. Indeed often give only as a way of filling our own needs. How often have we withdrawn from people to whom we have been close because we were getting nothing out of a relationship. How often have we wanted to be with another person because that person was making us feel good and was serving our own needs?
That kind of selfish love comes naturally to us. Its the ultimate source of the lust and violence that afflicts our relationships. But there's another to live and to love, as the apostle Paul points out in the thirteenth Chapter of 1 Corinthians. We often think of this chapter in the context of marriage, and indeed it is appropriately applied in that most intimate of human relationships. But Paul is really talking about attitudes and actions that should characterize all healthy loving relationships.
After asserting the importance of this alternative kind of love (1 Corinthians 12:31—13:3), Paul describes a heart that loves with passion and depth. First, the apostle tells us that love is patient and kind. It waits for the other, and it does so with concern, not irritability. It waits. It hopes. It loves beauty and justice and does not give in to the petty pleasure of seeing the one who hurt us stumble. Love is the Atlas of the soul; it keeps holding us up. It does not quit; it does not lose the memory of connection; it does not kill the dreams of reconciliation.
On the other hand, love wants nothing to do with jealousy or pride, which seek their own good at the expense of the other Instead, love cares for the other, not for the self. Love does not keep accounts, weighing the advantages of a particular relationship. It is not based on what we can get out of a connection, but on what we can put into it. Instead it sacrifices safety ("I wont let myself be hurt again") and deals a death blow to self-righteousness (After all I've done for them, I deserve better"). Love seeks the good of the other without denying the hunger of our heart or demanding that desire be satisfied.
It is this high call to other-centered love that strips us of any pretense that we love well.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Thomas on the life-giving love in a marriage
In the context of a marriage, Gary Thomas comments on Matt. 6:33 "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."
The first paragraph sounds like a fulfilling marriage to me! Bet it is going to be built upon super alot of hard work of dying to self and giving of Christ-like love to one another. Too bad it doesnt just happen magically...
How can we as sinful, selfish people do as such? Only when in surrender to the moulding of our hearts and wills by you Holy Spirit. We confess we are so prone to sinning again you and one another Lord, help us, if we so choose to be married, to do so with a kingdom framework - that we would seek to put our spouse as more important than ourselves, that a giving of ourselves would be the hallmark of our married lives. Give us a greater glimpse and understanding of how you love your church so that we can do likewise! Amen.
From page 17-18 of The Sacred Search:
The first paragraph sounds like a fulfilling marriage to me! Bet it is going to be built upon super alot of hard work of dying to self and giving of Christ-like love to one another. Too bad it doesnt just happen magically...
How can we as sinful, selfish people do as such? Only when in surrender to the moulding of our hearts and wills by you Holy Spirit. We confess we are so prone to sinning again you and one another Lord, help us, if we so choose to be married, to do so with a kingdom framework - that we would seek to put our spouse as more important than ourselves, that a giving of ourselves would be the hallmark of our married lives. Give us a greater glimpse and understanding of how you love your church so that we can do likewise! Amen.
From page 17-18 of The Sacred Search:
When husband and wife are committed in Christ, growing together in the Lord, supporting each other in their spiritual walks, raising children in the fear of the Lord, loving each other out of reverence for God, joy abounds and miracles happen. Selfish people become servants. Self-centered children grow up to become workers in God’s kingdom. Strangers become intimate friends. Daily life is filled with the drama of kingdom building. There are plenty of mistakes, lots of repenting, times of frustration, sickness, and even doubts. But in the end, God’s presence prevails, people are transformed, kingdom work is accomplished, and trials are overcome. If two people join themselves around this mission—if they make their marital choice based on the best person with whom they can accomplish this mission—they are far more likely to have a fulfilling and soul-building marriage.
On the other hand, I’ve witnessed how miserable people can make each other when they live for themselves. Though their initial sexual attraction might have been off the charts, it is usually only a matter of months until they are saying and doing awful, awful things to each other, so awful that they will call a pastor on the phone, someone they don’t even know, because they are so desperate to find another way to live. There was a time when they couldn’t live without each other; every second, they had to be together. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Now they can’t bear to live together. When they’re in the same room, or in the same car, or on the same telephone call, they can’t stop fighting.
It’s made me realize that the old cliché is all too true: a good marriage is the closest two people will ever come to heaven this side of eternity; a bad marriage is the closest two people in an affluent society will ever come to hell.
Such problems usually erupt from trying to build a life together without purpose, without mission, without something that not only establishes a connection but keeps you caring about each other for the next fifty to sixty years.
Wilkinson on searching for your audience's needs
Here's my attempt to highlight and summarise the ten primary vehicles for searching for your audience’s needs from Pages 312 to 321 of The Seven Laws of the Learner
Overview
A. Direct methods to find the need
1. Direct questions
2. Low-key interviews
3. Anonymous questionnaire
4. Interaction with family members
5. Personal visits to the student's home or work
6. Personal observation
B. Indirect methods to find the need
1. Books.
2. Magazines and newspapers.
3. Research studies and polls.
4. Individuals interacting with the public.
A. Direct methods to find the need
Use those best fitted to your personality, class and circumstances.
1. Direct questions. When the situation is casual and relaxed, ask your need-seeking questions directly. Here are a few ideas.
“Betty, I value your wisdom and insight and wonder if you could help me be a more effective teacher by telling what you think the three biggest problems are that people like you face today."
"John, I'm concerned that our class meet the needs of its members. Could you help me by giving two or three areas in your life that you wish we would address in the future?"
"Mr. Smith, what topics would you like to see taught during next quarter's classes?
Open-ended questions allow the student to be as personal as he wishes. People will respond to a sincerely asked question, especially when the teacher asks for help. Remove the threat and fear factor. Develop the regular habit of asking good questions and you'll be amazed how soon you have the right answers!
2. Low-key interviews. This method is less difficult than the first in that you don't ask questions directly or personally, but instead ask about general class needs:
"Martha, I noticed that our class seems to be feeling pressure lately. What do you think some of the reasons may be?"
"Frank, your kids are really growing up! How old are they now? What are the struggles kids their age seem to be facing these days?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Smith, did you happen to see the article on the front page of Sunday's paper reporting that Americans have never had more personal debt that today? How do you think debt is creating hardships for families in their midforties?"
Low key interviews can capture significant and practical insights that will give your content timeliness and personal interest.
3. Anonymous questionnaire. This is a most effective vehicle. A questionnaire can be controlled, involves more people that you could personally talk to, and asks questions on a variety of subjects. The key to its effectiveness hinges on three conditions.
First, the audience must know both the purpose and its ultimate use. It is for teacher's eyes only, or will the results be announced and discussed? Be aware that the latter purpose may reduce honesty.
Second, the audience must be convinced of the anonymity of the questionnaire. Any hint that they could be found out will tilt the response.
Third, the questions must be carefully constructed so that the responses present a true picture. The questions are as important as the answer. Frequently I'll distribute blank three-by-five cards with teh following open-ended questions and instruct the class to answer anonymously:
Overview
A. Direct methods to find the need
1. Direct questions
2. Low-key interviews
3. Anonymous questionnaire
4. Interaction with family members
5. Personal visits to the student's home or work
6. Personal observation
B. Indirect methods to find the need
1. Books.
2. Magazines and newspapers.
3. Research studies and polls.
4. Individuals interacting with the public.
A. Direct methods to find the need
Use those best fitted to your personality, class and circumstances.
1. Direct questions. When the situation is casual and relaxed, ask your need-seeking questions directly. Here are a few ideas.
“Betty, I value your wisdom and insight and wonder if you could help me be a more effective teacher by telling what you think the three biggest problems are that people like you face today."
"John, I'm concerned that our class meet the needs of its members. Could you help me by giving two or three areas in your life that you wish we would address in the future?"
"Mr. Smith, what topics would you like to see taught during next quarter's classes?
Open-ended questions allow the student to be as personal as he wishes. People will respond to a sincerely asked question, especially when the teacher asks for help. Remove the threat and fear factor. Develop the regular habit of asking good questions and you'll be amazed how soon you have the right answers!
2. Low-key interviews. This method is less difficult than the first in that you don't ask questions directly or personally, but instead ask about general class needs:
"Martha, I noticed that our class seems to be feeling pressure lately. What do you think some of the reasons may be?"
"Frank, your kids are really growing up! How old are they now? What are the struggles kids their age seem to be facing these days?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Smith, did you happen to see the article on the front page of Sunday's paper reporting that Americans have never had more personal debt that today? How do you think debt is creating hardships for families in their midforties?"
Low key interviews can capture significant and practical insights that will give your content timeliness and personal interest.
3. Anonymous questionnaire. This is a most effective vehicle. A questionnaire can be controlled, involves more people that you could personally talk to, and asks questions on a variety of subjects. The key to its effectiveness hinges on three conditions.
First, the audience must know both the purpose and its ultimate use. It is for teacher's eyes only, or will the results be announced and discussed? Be aware that the latter purpose may reduce honesty.
Second, the audience must be convinced of the anonymity of the questionnaire. Any hint that they could be found out will tilt the response.
Third, the questions must be carefully constructed so that the responses present a true picture. The questions are as important as the answer. Frequently I'll distribute blank three-by-five cards with teh following open-ended questions and instruct the class to answer anonymously:
- The biggest problem I struggle with work is...
- Whenever my spouse and I get into arguments, it's usually about...
- My biggest personal disappointment during the past few years was...
- My greatest triumph as a person is...
- When I get angry with God, it's usually because...
- When I get to heaven, my biggest insight about what I should have been doing will be...
- If somebody could give me one good piece of advice about how to raise my kids, it would be about...
- Probably the area of my spiritual life that causes me the most problems is...
- Rate your Christian walk on a scale of 1-10. The one area in my Christian life where I stumble the most is...
- The sin I seem to wrestle with and rarely have the victory over is...
- On a scale of 1-10, how honest were you in answering these questions?
Spend a few hours with those cards-they represent a gold mine of need. Quickly you will be able to identify the top ten needs in areas such as your students' work, family, and spiritual growth... Aim each class at one of the top three felt needs. Never again will you have to wonder if a lesson will hit the mark.
4. Interaction with family members. There are two ways to approach this: (1) comments by the student about his family; and (2) comments by the family about the student. Vague, general, and open-ended questions about a student's family can reveal volumes to the discerning listener.
5. Personal visits to the student's home or work. The best insights are frequently obtained through a brief, personal visit to a person's home or place of employment. It's the only real way to walk in someone else's shoes. Today's classrooms are so unnatural and structured that students seldom reveal their true selves. We have to look elsewhere for glimpses of reality. Home is where our masks crumble and where needs lie right on the surface. Attitudes, atmosphere, frame of mind, harmony or disharmony, order or disorder, all are apparent to those who care enough to look.
You cant cant meet a need if you don't know what is. If you want to know your students, look behind the doors of their homes and offices.
6. Personal observation. This method focuses upon those clues which are available during all of life.
First, the questions people ask in and after class reflect areas of inner interest and need.
Second, body language speaks so loudly it often can be heard above spoken words. Arms folded, hands over mouth, body slouched, torso leaning aggressively forward-all carry loud messages.
Third, class attendance is probably the most direct indicator of how well you meet the needs of your audience. People's presence or absence clearly denotes what they think of your class. The more helpful the class, the more people will come for help!
Fourth, class discussions reflect needs which require further consideration. Whenever students try to keep the ball rolling on a given subject, you know you've hit oil.
Fifth, after-class activities and conversations mirror the true interests and concerns of your class because they are neither required nor structured.
Those are the major direct methods of find the needs of your students.
B. Indirect methods to find the need
Unlike the direct approach, which puts you face to face with your audience, the indirect approach offers valuable information through other people's research and experience. Although the information will frequently give you solid and dependable insights, it must be evaluated carefully as it does not deal specifically with your class.
Collect information around two basic frameworks: (i) topics that you know most interest your class; and (ii) characteristics of the age group of your class members, noting their problems and trends. There are many available sources for this information, but here are a few of the primary ones:
1. Books. Regularly browsing the shelves in your Christian and secular bookstores gives a snapshot of the bestselling books, and therefore conveys where the current interests and needs lie. Ask the store manager what trends he's seeing and what types of books people in your class' age bracket are purchasing. At the time I was writing this book the top four bestsellers were about money, business, sex, and health. When is the last time you taught on money, business, sex, or health?
2. Magazines and newspapers. Because the magazine industry is so consumer-oriented and must meet the ever-changing interests of the American public, it frequently presents a panorama of the needs of your targeted audiences. Pay close attention to the types of articles they feature as well as the types of books they review and advertise.
Magazines include valuable articles, surveys, and Q&A columns. Remember, people only read what they are interested in. And whether or not you agree with advice columnists, keep a close eye on the subjects they repeat or for which they receive overwhelming responses. They're not the most-read journalists in America by accident.
Want a real eye-opener? Take any well-known magazine and look at the Q&A section. Those are the questions people are really asking. Next Sunday, teach God's answer to those questions. I guarantee you nobody will move.
3. Research studies and polls. George Gallup and George Barna frequently conduct polls to establish the true feelings and positions of the public on myriad subjects.
4. Individuals interacting with the public. Doctors, dentists, barbers and beauticians, counselors, psychologists, guidance counselors, police, teachers, principals, and a host of others have their fingers on the public pulse and can be interviewed about the trends they see. I make it a practice to ask such "pulse people" about the problems they see on the rise.
Magazines include valuable articles, surveys, and Q&A columns. Remember, people only read what they are interested in. And whether or not you agree with advice columnists, keep a close eye on the subjects they repeat or for which they receive overwhelming responses. They're not the most-read journalists in America by accident.
Want a real eye-opener? Take any well-known magazine and look at the Q&A section. Those are the questions people are really asking. Next Sunday, teach God's answer to those questions. I guarantee you nobody will move.
3. Research studies and polls. George Gallup and George Barna frequently conduct polls to establish the true feelings and positions of the public on myriad subjects.
4. Individuals interacting with the public. Doctors, dentists, barbers and beauticians, counselors, psychologists, guidance counselors, police, teachers, principals, and a host of others have their fingers on the public pulse and can be interviewed about the trends they see. I make it a practice to ask such "pulse people" about the problems they see on the rise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)