Boundaries for Leaders: Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge by Henry CloudMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
After having read so so many books, am so glad that Cloud delivers one that I like so so very much! He draws from a lifetime of psychological study and experience in consulting with CEOs in writing this book. Real life stories are used to great effect to illustrate complicated or abstract principles. Sometimes he gets lost in retelling the stories that he forgets to reinforce the point (and we have to refer to the subtitle to figure out what he is trying to say).
Nevertheless, I highly recommend this book! Alongside Hybel's Courageous Leadership and McIntosh & Rima's Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership, this book would feature in my must-give book list to any leader I care about.
Here's a quick summary of the gems in the book (spoiler warning!):
Leaders can motivate or demotivate their people (xiv) and one of the aspects of a leader's behaviour that make everything work is his/her "boundaries," which is a structure that determines what will exist and what will not (xv).
A leader is always going to get a combination of two things; what you create and what you allow (p15).
In the language of Apple, 'who is the DRI, the directly responsible individual? (who is over and allows the 'problem' employee to be difficult or not perform; if that employee is confused about the strategy or direction, who is it that sets them; p15).
The central principle of boundaries is ownership. Leaders are the one who define and create the boundaries that drive the behaviour that forms the identity of teams and culture and sets the standards of performance (p16).
Highlighted how returning Apple CEO Steve Jobs diagnosed the problem as a lack of focus and pruned 70% of models and products with a much-needed clarity through setting a positive boundary. The employees were to just make four great products: "consumer," "pro", "desktop" and "portable" (p19).
People dont leave jobs - they leave bosses (p56).
The importance that there is no relational consequences to making a mistake. That is what people need from their leaders, the knowledge that their leader is for their success, and if a mistake is made, that leader will stand beside them and help them learn and improve, not punish them... a "getting better" orientation goes much further than a "being perfect" orientation (p71).
Our brains need positive relationships to grow and function well (p83).
Most leaders are "meeting'ed to death" ... most of these meetings are not doing much to build connection and unity. The answer is usually not more but different meetings of a certain type and more connection as a result of whatever meeting do occur (p86).
In chapter 6 (p103-108), through a real life scenario, Cloud highlights the far reaching effects a leader with negative thinking can have on an entire organisation. This is in contrast to another company's founder who started it with an ingenious plan while still in bankruptcy (p103); this guy does not suffer from such negative thinking.
In contrast to learned helplessness (p108-116), a leader can focus his team's energy on working on controllable factors that directly affects the desired outcomes of the organisation (p126).
In chapter 8 (p153-166), Cloud illustrates the term "dead fish" with a real life scenario, which means something like the elephant in the room that needs to be addressed, in order for the team to accomplish a specific vision and mission.
The job of the leader is to form a team around a common purpose or goal, and then work with the team to figure out what that team is going to have to value and behave like to reach that goal (p165-6). It does not belong to a person, but to the person as a whole. As a result, it is going to take the entire team to make it happen. That is the essence of a team (p170).
The entertaining accounts of how people wanted feedback given to them demonstrated how important it was to get to know each individual's communication style and vulnerabilities. The needed feedback and difficult-to-hear truths prevented future hiccups, as they knew better how to deal with each other (p175).
We make investments when we feel trust, (p186-7) which grows when:
-we feel understood (p173-180)
-we display credibility and character (p180-3)
-we believe in someone's capacity and ability (p183-4)
-someone has a built a good track record (p184-6)
While internal advisers are essential, outside ones are different. They protect you by having no conflict of interest; they are only there to help you, not to serve themselves, if they are good ones (p203).
Set very, very strong boundaries with yourself against any tendency you might have toward defensiveness, blame, or denial when given feedback. the weakest leaders are threatened by feedback, and often completely closed off to insights that are so easily seen by others. Strong leaders embrace feedback, seek to understand it, and put it to use. Even when they may disagree, they dont become defensive; instead they engage in dialogue and honest inquiry to figure out where the gaps between their intentions and others' perceptions come from. The feedback may be wrong, but they embrace it to understand it nevertheless. You can embrace and not agree at the same time. Move toward it (p208-9).
Dont be ruled by fear (p212-3) or put off change (p214-6): take steps toward overcoming the fear rather put off something indefinitely.
Set boundaries on your weaknesses (p219-221) and confine yourself to do what you are gifted at, don't meddle in affairs that would result in operational chaos.
It is of utmost importance to do a time audit to identify gaps between stated priorities and time/effort spent. What is vital to achieve your vision? Are those getting on the schedule first? Give them first priority but assign them a time and place, so that they actually get done (p221-6).
There is only so much time available and if one says yes to something, that means no to something else. (p224)
Give yourself time to refuel after an energy sapping activity, eg. high-conflict situations (p225) or draining people (p226).
When you realise that you are ridiculously in charge, it does not mean you are in charge of others or in charge of what goes on in the organization. It also means that you are ridiculously in charge of yourself (p230-1).
There are two kinds of high level leaders. One is defined by the work. The other is in a process of actively defining hte work, and they do that by first defining themselves and taking charge of who they are going to be and how they are going to work. They have good self-leadership boundaries (p231).
Far too many leaders fail because they think plenty about the plan and not enough about the people (p234). Do all of these things, and you will have science on your side. More important, you will have the people on your side, people who want to work for and with a leader who engenders an environment that attends to our strongest human desires: to connect, create and grow (p236).
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