Thursday, December 10, 2015

Clowney on Paul's Christ-centered marriage advice

Clowney comments on the the oft quoted yet often not very well understood passage from Ephesians. Probably the common interpretation would be that the husband demands that the wife submits to him and because she does not, then he does not have to give up his life for her. And the vicious downward spiral ensues.

The simplicity and profoundness of Clowney's exposition makes me want to study the text more, and perhaps meditate on what other commentators have to share with us...


From pages 99-102 of: How Jesus Transforms The Ten Commandments

Paul starts with the supremacy of Christ, and the reality of his presence in the Spirit. From this, he speaks of Christ and his church, then makes that reality the master model for our roles in the families that are "in the Lord." Does it seem that the role of the husband is exalted too much, that he should be likened to Christ? Ah, but that likeness offers no autocratic rule like that of the kings of the Gentiles. Christ is no dictator, but he is the Head of his body the church—in organic union with her. He is the Savior of the church. He loved the church and gave himself up for her. His purpose is "to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Eph. 5:26-27).

Marriage counselors ... prefer to start with specific sources of irritation mentioned by a typical couple. Why did the new husband get so upset to see his wife looking through his wallet? Why does she find total lack of sensitivity in a husband who bangs out his toothbrush without rinsing the basin?

To be sure, men—and women, too—have seized on the idea of submission with no understanding of the transformation brought through Jesus. They miss the sun in the solar system of Paul's commandments. Submission is a meaningless concept in a Christian marriage if the one to whom we are all submitting is left out of the picture. The center is our being "in Christ." Paul's words could not be clearer. "In the Lord" determines everything. Making the husband the head of the house will not yield a Christian marriage or a Christian home. Some poor wives are painfully aware of this, as they try to live peaceably with husbands who take Paul's words, distort them, and impose their own selfish demands on their wives in the guise of Christian submission. Likewise, women can misuse their expectations of husbands by refusing obedience to them until they have "shaped up" and are looking like Paul's ideal model of selflessness. Such women forget that their submission is not ultimately to their husbands, but to Christ, who strengthens them and enables them to submit to a sinner in honor of Christ.

Are Paul's words too theological to be of practical help? Paul certainly knew and understood the teaching of the wisdom books of the Old Testament, which are full of practical applications of godly wisdom. He taught that wisdom, while coming from the Spirit, must be tested and sharpened in experience. But Paul understood why our being joined to Christ through the Spirit is the secret of Christ's union with his body the church. "This is a profound mystery," he says, "but I am talking about Christ and the church" (Eph. 5:32). Paul seems to realize that one might take his words off into a realm of bodiless theology and speculation. Immediately after recognizing the mystery of which he writes, he brings his readers back down to earth with a thump. "However," he adds, as a final word on the issue of marriage, "each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (Eph. 5:33). There is no room here for someone who wants to spiritualize away the responsibilities incumbent on husbands or wives.

The husband who imitates the Lord by giving his life for his wife; who has before him Christ's perfecting of the church as his holy bride; who claims her not as his possession, but as belonging to the Lord—that husband will show his wife something of the love of Christ, who calls them to be one flesh. They will together show the world something of the family of God. And the wife who gladly follows her husband; who seeks only his honor and his good; who seeks to bring all things under the headship of Christ by bringing the elements of her own world under the headship of her husband; who longs to accomplish the desires of her husband's heart and to apply those desires to all areas of her authority—that wife will show something of the full submission with which the Son honored his Father.

Such a couple will indeed experience no sense of loss, but the gain of glory. For the wife is the glory of the husband as she submits to him, and the man is glorified and lifted up by the wife who honors him. Both are glorified by the Father and the Son, just as the Son himself is glorified at the last day by theFather to whom he has submitted. Such Christian submission may seem humiliating. But it is the way of Christ, the way of the cross, and the only way to true glory and satisfaction.

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